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Stab Proof Scarecrows, by Lance Manley
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Three years and three months in the English Police. Twenty months as a volunteer Special Constable in the City of London, patrolling the Square Mile. On duty on July 7th and July 21st 2005 in the aftermath of the terrorist attacks. Then nineteen months with Kent Police as a paid Regular officer. If you want a poodle, then buy one. But don't buy a Rottweiler, pull all its teeth out and have it neutered and then complain that it's lost its aggressive edge. The English Police is currently the most emasculating job anyone can ever do if they join up with ideals and a belief that Justice should be served. Stab Proof Scarecrows looks at policing in the UK from a trainee's perspective. Someone who joined with high aspirations of helping to protect people and serve the public trust, only to resign while still in probation after becoming thoroughly disillusioned with the modern world of coppering. Revised and updated from the 2010 edition.
- Published on: 2016-01-20
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x 1.16" w x 5.50" l, 1.30 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 514 pages
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Frightening...
By David Ainsworth
I picked this book up due to my interest in UK policing and to try and get a different perspsective of exactly how cops in England work now. Seeing the size of the book (it's BIG) I expected it to take me at least a week to finish it.
As it was I started it at 9pm and finished at 5 o'clock the next morning, completely addicted to Lance Manley's blindingly good read which is a horrifying yet enthralling portrayal of how far from the Robert Peel's vision the British Bobby has now strayed, yet punctuated with moments of hilarity, pathos and tragedy.
Lance's journey began when he was a Special Constable in the City of London Police (the Big Smoke has two main forces, the Met patrol 99%, City the financial area) where his experiences as a volunteer officer who was present in the wake of the July 7th and 21st terrorist attacks shaped his future intentions.
After enrolling in a rural force elsewhere he encountered mindless and petty senior officers, frustrating paperwork, slap dash training not to mention bullying that would seem excessive in a Gripper Stebson- era episode of Grange Hill.
The most heart breaking thing is that Lance clearly wanted, wholeheartedly, to help and be a good copper but was prevented from doing that by people who believed he was unsuitable for the role. As he wasn't providing them with ammunition for dismissal (and was in fact receiving official compliments from senior officers on his conduct) they went out of their way to get him into trouble.
The portrayal of certain officers has blatant poetic licence. Not least the Chief Inspector for Training, Ma'am Postlethwaite who comes across as a mixture of Hannibal Lecter and Margaret Thatcher. Similarly Inspector "Spitfire McGuire" is like Lord Flasheart from Blackadder Goes Forth crossed with Mr Darcy from Jane Austen. However the portrayals lend the book its much needed humour to punctuate and offer relief from the dark, sobering and sometimes depressing passages on both how Lance was treated (while recovering from a slipped disc and walking with a stick he was officially criticised for avoiding confrontation...despite having been officially told to do so ) and other events such as the terrible murder of Manchester woman SOPHIE Lancaster (who the book is dedicated to).
Lance needs to be commended for his ability to raise a smile or even make you laugh out loud (I believe the trendy term is "make you LOL") in one chapter while bringing you down to Earth with a thump in the next. The chapter on the Passing Out Parade raised a giggle or two but is followed by a detailed account of the Sophie Lancaster murder contrasted with details of just how misplaced the police's priorities are in relation to dealing with the type of people who commit such ghastly crimes.
The book offers some hope as Lance notes that a select few officers are still full of common sense (Inspector Harwood and his dry sense of humour being one example) who try to retain some of the values of the Old School without letting the whole thing slip down the toilet. Lance's farewell phone call to Ma'am Postlethwaite after his resignation is moving to say the least as it shows that her fearsome facade is exactly that and she, like Lance is just a person who believes in what she does.
A sobering and addictive account of just what happens when the Government and the police care too much for public opinion to actually to their jobs properly.
Would love to know what became of the swearing kiddy.
Excellent and highly reccomended.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
US cops may think this is a joke...it's not!!!
By Mike M
Recently a NYC cop bought a homeless man with no shoes, a pair of $65 boots.
The cop became an international star for this one act of generosity.
In the UK, if a cop did this he would be investigated by Professional Standards (Internal Affairs) for the discount of $25 that the store gave once they realised what the cop was doing. He would also be accused of having "money to burn" for splashing out on boots for strangers. He would finally be accused of wasting time by not doing something specifically job related.
This book shows the stupidity, cretinousness and downright dangerous behaviour of police management in the UK. It is also however very funny.
Be afraid, be VERY afraid.
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